Bigwink1's thread **NSFW**

[Rockbear99]

Got to bring this one over here. It is just too important not too

[Xee]

Hmm. I was thinking of making this a sticky but I think I'll keep it standard. If it's stickied there's really not an incentive to post in it to keep it alive and that equates to Bigwink fading away. Anyone object?

[UOK]

Nope, this thread is like hot potatoe, you gotta keep it up top by getting involved.

[G08]

Word.

[Pagan]

I would've liked to know Big better.

[UOK]

Me too. He was hilarious, and had a great outlook on life. He tagged me along in a couple other forums, and we had some good discussions in-forum and out. He had a great attitude and was always about keeping things light in the boards. I consider it a huge regret I was never able to shake his hand and share a beer with the man.

[Pagan]

Me too. He was hilarious, and had a great outlook on life. He tagged me along in a couple other forums, and we had some good discussions in-forum and out. He had a great attitude and was always about keeping things light in the boards. I consider it a huge regret I was never able to shake his hand and share a beer with the man.

Without getting too heavy- I experienced a fair amount of death at an early age and have long since decided that I should treat people the way I would if I knew they could be dead tomorrow. Not in the morbid way- just appreciating people and making sure to leave on a good note.

Lifes too short.

[gaba]

I feel the same way, but it can actually backfire on you. This sounds cheesy but... when I first started living with my wife I happened to hear the song "If tomorrow never comes" somewhere. I actually kind of hate that song. It's cheesy sentimental garbage BUT... the idea's not a bad one. I decided that every time I think "I love her" I was just going to say it. Never let there be a doubt. Of course now, 8 years later, I say "I love you" and she responds with (eyes rolling, slightly annoyed sigh) "I know." I don't think it's meaningless exactly, but it doesn't have the same impact it once did.


I think hugs work better though. You can't overuse a hug. In fact, I'm considering a complete boycott of handshakes. Handshakes are for Republicans. If you meet me in person, you're getting a hug. (Damn, that's another smiley I thought I had on the list.)

[UOK]

I say "I love you" and she responds with (eyes rolling, slightly annoyed sigh) "I know.

[MamaBear]

Damn Gaba, now I feel guilty. My husband says it constantly so I'm all "uh-huh" or "yep" or "mmm-hmm me too". Damn women sure can be bitches huh?

[gaba]

Not at all mama, I just assume agreement is implied. I'm sure he'd appreciate a little recognition though. There's probably something special he asks for so often you don't hear that either.

[MamaBear]

There's probably something special he asks for so often you don't hear that either.

Hmmm. I'll have to think about that and narrow it down.

[gaba]

I don't think I can be more specific. I'm 99.99% sure that my wife would know EXACTLY what I'm talking about.

[UOK]

The action of which you speak is generally accepted by my GF, but it's kind of weird to just request that. Sort of just has to happen, much like trying to see a rainbow.

[gaba]

UOK, there is a HUGE difference between "girlfriend" and "wife."


A groom passes down the aisle of the church to take his place by the altar, when the best man notices that the groom has the biggest, brightest smile on his face. The best man says, “Hey man, I know you’re happy to be getting married, but what’s up? You look so excited.”

The groom replies, “I just had the best ______ I have ever had in my entire life and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me.”

The bride comes walking down the aisle and she, too, has the biggest, brightest smile on her face. The maid of honor notices this and says, “I know you’re happy to be getting married, but what’s up? You look so excited.”

The bride replies, “I have just given the last ______ of my entire life!”

[DaDitka]

UOK, there is a HUGE difference between "girlfriend" and "wife."


A groom passes down the aisle of the church to take his place by the altar, when the best man notices that the groom has the biggest, brightest smile on his face. The best man says, “Hey man, I know you’re happy to be getting married, but what’s up? You look so excited.”

The groom replies, “I just had the best ______ I have ever had in my entire life and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me.”

The bride comes walking down the aisle and she, too, has the biggest, brightest smile on her face. The maid of honor notices this and says, “I know you’re happy to be getting married, but what’s up? You look so excited.”

The bride replies, “I have just given the last ______ of my entire life!”

Funny story....but don't share it with my wife.

She's unaware that it's an 'option'.

[Boris13c]

[UOK]

Is that really Palin?

[DaDitka]

Is that really Palin?

Don't know, but if she does find here way to the White House I've got a feeling we've only seen a small sample of what Boris has instore.

[gaba]

It's fake, but that doesn't make it any less funny.

[Pagan]

[Boris13c]

[Boris13c]

an optical illusion to drive you nuts

no naughty bits ... safe for work


http://carcino.gen.nz/images/index.php/ ... b/41432f99

[DB&DB]

COLONOSCOPIES
Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during exams were quite humorous......
A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) before or after their colonoscopies:


1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!

2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'

3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'

4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'

5. 'You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married.'

6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'

7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...'

8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'

9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!'

10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'

11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'

12. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.'

13. 'How far up did you go? I now have a sore throat.'

And the best one of all..

14. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up here?

[gaba]

Nice. I just spent my time cursing innocent deities.

[Rockbear99]

You know what food kills a womans sex drive?

Wedding cake.

[gaba]

If someone's got a little spare time, maybe we could just cut and paste some of the great stuff from the original thread. Jokes, lame stories, dumb pictures... there's a whole library of stupidity that I no longer have access to. I can live without Coney's news (if I have to) and I can live without the few remaining stragglers that haven't found there way over here (where the f*&K IS DaBears?) but I'm probably never going to get over the loss of "--- please delete ---"

[DB&DB]

Teeth (Turn the sound down, or do not watch at work NWSF)(or is it NSWF?)

[FranktheTank]

This should be the official bump post. Anytime this thread needs to be bumped it should be required that this is used.

[DB&DB]

While I was looking up "slack jawed Texas ass" on the internet, I found this:

Texas Dildo Law Goes Limp

Texas is one of the few states that continues to prohibit the sale of sex toys. The Texas legislature, in its infinite wisdom, enacted a broad prohibition on the “selling, giving, lending, distributing, or advertising” of “obscene devices.” The law defined “obscene device” as any device “designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs.”

I am happy to report that just in time for Valentine’s Day the Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals struck a blow for individual freedom and struck down the Texas obscene device law!

Texas Dildo Law Goes Limp

And then this:

Texas - Still Obsessed With Dildos

Years after GWB left the Governor’s mansion, the Great State of Texas seems to continue to be obsessed with dildos...

...Naturally, the State of Texas simply can not survive if dildos are sold in that state. Therefore, a bunch of small-government republicans have banded together to waste the taxpayers’ money seeking a rehearing en banc...

...Does it not seem beyond belief that you can buy a gun with relatively little hassle all across the South. However, the legislatures of Mississippi, Alabama, and Texas are terrified of vibrators? One commentator said:

one could stroll down Alabama’s southern streets selling semiautomatic rifles and dildos, and be arrested for the dildos. (source)

The only thing that dildos threaten is some ass-hats in Austin who are terrified of the fact that women will like their dildos more than their men. Given what I have seen come out of the Texas legislature, I couldn’t blame them.

Texas - Still Obsessed With Dildos

I never found slack jawed Texas ass, but I did find slack jawed yokel, slack jawed Texas redneck, bib-overalled slack-jawed drooling bumpkin, slack-jawed hillbilly moron, slack-jawed out-of-towners, and my favorite, slackjawed f*ckwit.