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PostPosted: Wed Oct 24, 2018 3:08 am 
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So I use to think I wasn't as "redneck" as some people thought. I mean I got all my teeth, drive a shitty car and listen to science books. Sure I grew up on a farm, and had to kill more then one rodent (rabbits, squirrels, and raccoons count as rodents) whom entered my home as a kid. However this weekend I realized I might be. I am going to skip a lot of details.

My family has not served hard alcohol at family events for years. You see we commonly drink to fast, and have a bit too much of a fighter's spirit. Meaning we get hammered and someone gets into a fight.

Well someone this weekend at a wedding started handing out shots. Now my wife is a city girl. City people often don't realize when they are in danger. My mom is a 120lb savage. Sure she now owns a veryy respectable business, but she has thrown more hay bales and choke slammed enough men to say she isn't overly prissy.

Well naturally my wife got hammered and talked to much. My mom got hammered and didn't talk enough. My wife not realizing she was in danger got choke slammed by my mom. I was not there but the almost 60 year old made it look easy.

So the wife tells me the next day, "I can't believe that, it was crazy, all your childhood stories make sense. " I say yeah but it was just a scuffle no big deal. My wife disagrees adamantly. This is apparently her first partial whooping. I have tried to explain, politely, that it's normal. She will get over it, both parties where wrong. It happens. Of course the whole time playing the good husband roll. She looks away me and says, you are all fucking hillbillies, you can fight and get over it like it didn't happen. She of course can't and won't talk to my mom forever, even though it was her mouth that said some shit.

So I guess I am a bit more backwoods then I thought. This is why we don't drink hard alcohol at family events.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 24, 2018 9:50 am 
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mmmc_35 wrote:
So I use to think I wasn't as "redneck" as some people thought. I mean I got all my teeth, drive a shitty car and listen to science books. Sure I grew up on a farm, and had to kill more then one rodent (rabbits, squirrels, and raccoons count as rodents) whom entered my home as a kid. However this weekend I realized I might be. I am going to skip a lot of details.

My family has not served hard alcohol at family events for years. You see we commonly drink to fast, and have a bit too much of a fighter's spirit. Meaning we get hammered and someone gets into a fight.

Well someone this weekend at a wedding started handing out shots. Now my wife is a city girl. City people often don't realize when they are in danger. My mom is a 120lb savage. Sure she now owns a veryy respectable business, but she has thrown more hay bales and choke slammed enough men to say she isn't overly prissy.

Well naturally my wife got hammered and talked to much. My mom got hammered and didn't talk enough. My wife not realizing she was in danger got choke slammed by my mom. I was not there but the almost 60 year old made it look easy.

So the wife tells me the next day, "I can't believe that, it was crazy, all your childhood stories make sense. " I say yeah but it was just a scuffle no big deal. My wife disagrees adamantly. This is apparently her first partial whooping. I have tried to explain, politely, that it's normal. She will get over it, both parties where wrong. It happens. Of course the whole time playing the good husband roll. She looks away me and says, you are all fucking hillbillies, you can fight and get over it like it didn't happen. She of course can't and won't talk to my mom forever, even though it was her mouth that said some shit.

So I guess I am a bit more backwoods then I thought. This is why we don't drink hard alcohol at family events.

I get it. It wasn't Christmas until someone got shitfaced and shoved someone into the tree.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 24, 2018 10:13 am 
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mmmc_35 wrote:
So I use to think I wasn't as "redneck" as some people thought. I mean I got all my teeth, drive a shitty car and listen to science books. Sure I grew up on a farm, and had to kill more then one rodent (rabbits, squirrels, and raccoons count as rodents) whom entered my home as a kid. However this weekend I realized I might be. I am going to skip a lot of details.

My family has not served hard alcohol at family events for years. You see we commonly drink to fast, and have a bit too much of a fighter's spirit. Meaning we get hammered and someone gets into a fight.

Well someone this weekend at a wedding started handing out shots. Now my wife is a city girl. City people often don't realize when they are in danger. My mom is a 120lb savage. Sure she now owns a veryy respectable business, but she has thrown more hay bales and choke slammed enough men to say she isn't overly prissy.

Well naturally my wife got hammered and talked to much. My mom got hammered and didn't talk enough. My wife not realizing she was in danger got choke slammed by my mom. I was not there but the almost 60 year old made it look easy.

So the wife tells me the next day, "I can't believe that, it was crazy, all your childhood stories make sense. " I say yeah but it was just a scuffle no big deal. My wife disagrees adamantly. This is apparently her first partial whooping. I have tried to explain, politely, that it's normal. She will get over it, both parties where wrong. It happens. Of course the whole time playing the good husband roll. She looks away me and says, you are all fucking hillbillies, you can fight and get over it like it didn't happen. She of course can't and won't talk to my mom forever, even though it was her mouth that said some shit.

So I guess I am a bit more backwoods then I thought. This is why we don't drink hard alcohol at family events.


Be honest, mmmc... you wished like hell you were there to see it :lol:

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 24, 2018 12:24 pm 
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I am glad I didn't so I didn't get into any trouble and can be completely neutral. However tell yeah I wish I saw it. It has caused a ton of bull shit drama and according to my brothers it was epic. So i get all the negative with no payoff.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 25, 2018 8:32 am 
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I want to hear more about how you listen to books? :P

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 25, 2018 9:54 pm 
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malk wrote:
I want to hear more about how you listen to books? :P


Audible. Love it.


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 26, 2018 9:13 am 
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mmmc_35 wrote:
malk wrote:
I want to hear more about how you listen to books? :P


Audible. Love it.



Can't quite get into Audible, but I've recently converted to a Kindle and it's pretty awesome. I still have a TON of actual book-books, but the digital medium is very nice. I thought it would be more jarring to use an e-reader but I actually dig it quite a bit.

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 26, 2018 10:10 am 
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UOK wrote:
mmmc_35 wrote:
malk wrote:
I want to hear more about how you listen to books? :P


Audible. Love it.



Can't quite get into Audible, but I've recently converted to a Kindle and it's pretty awesome. I still have a TON of actual book-books, but the digital medium is very nice. I thought it would be more jarring to use an e-reader but I actually dig it quite a bit.


I use my phone as an ereader, nice having a big pile of books with me at all times. It's quite a big phone so there's no issue with size but it probably isn't great for the amount of blue light I get at night.

Haven't tried audiobooks, how long do they take to get through? I've pretty much got enough podcasts to fill my commute but a book once in a while would make a nice change, if it didn't take forever to get through.

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 26, 2018 10:50 am 
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Off the intellectual shit and off to dip shit.

This is just stupid. I am not a huge drinker, alcohol fucks with me big time (health wise).

At an Ugly Christmas Sweater Party last year. I was pissed at the Bears and was wearing the Ditka era Bears sweater.

I was hitting the hard liquor (Fireball, Peppermint schnapps, homemade apple pie moonshine) pretty hard along with some beers.

The party was in a garage. Toward the end of the night, for whatever reason, I tried to run through the garage door. Not only did a bounce off, about 10' backward, I fell out and did a header on to the drain in the floor. Not drunk that would have probably hurt like hell, drunk as shit, didn't feel it. I don't remember much of the night but everyone else does and they enjoyed my stupidity.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 27, 2018 4:12 am 
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Longest book was 26 hours, shortest 2.5. I drive in my squad with either books or podcasts. I even without too them. So it's a bit different.

Otis. If occasionally you don't test your masculinity vs an non defeatable object you will it. You tested yours enough for a couple years.


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