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PostPosted: Fri Mar 31, 2017 11:58 am 
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UOK you mean the pedo? I have read some really sick complaint warrants and PC affidavits. I can't openly talk about them but there are some bad ones. I have a bunch of jail stories, that was tame compared to some.

I love Fred, dudes awesome. He just used his thumb and index finger on the outer ring? Or did he puts the center with his thumb between his index and middle?

The Rick and morty thing is funny.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 31, 2017 12:10 pm 
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mmmc_35 wrote:
UOK you mean the pedo?


Yeah, the guy was a totally twisted fuck. Made me sick to read about. I usually try to ignore a lot of the darker sides of the world, but on occasion I find myself going down the rabbit hole.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 31, 2017 2:02 pm 
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Probation stories:

Meeting female client for the first time. Discussing medical conditions/problems and she states she has "Cracknesia." I tell her I have not heard of that condition and ask her to explain it to me. She replies, "It is memory loss for smoking too much crack."

Male juvenile being questioned by police officer after stabbing (with a pencil) another student in the lunchroom of the high school.

Officer: What happened?
Juvie: I saw him talking to my girlfriend and I got pissed. He was sitting behind me in the lunchroom. I took out my Ticonderoga #2 pencil and I stabbed him!!"


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 31, 2017 6:03 pm 
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mmmc_35 wrote:
I love Fred, dudes awesome. He just used his thumb and index finger on the outer ring? Or did he puts the center with his thumb between his index and middle?


He would kinda make a fist with the quarter between his thumb and the side of his index finger

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 31, 2017 6:16 pm 
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Otis Day wrote:
I took out my Ticonderoga #2 pencil and I stabbed him!!"


He has a fine choice in writing utensils. So he has that going for him.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2017 9:01 am 
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Cat Food

So for Christmas I got the wife and kids a puppy. She wanted another dog or a kid. I chose dog. She said I wouldn't have to do anything, she loved the dog so much. She would walk her, feed her, train her, etc. Obviously that was a lie. So I have had to fix some of the deficiencies. I finally got her house broke and working on basic commands. I feed the dogs, had to clean most of her shits, and basically I am the main care giver.

Recently my wife bought a giant bag of cat food. She opened it and placed it on the floor in our back room. I caught the pup eating out of the cat food bag, and placed the bag in a cabinet. I explained to my wife the "New Cat Food SOP". She said she understood. My wife broke the SOP consistently. I continued to try and train my wife on the cat food SOP. The wife did not respond well to training.

So a few nights ago I again found the cat food on the floor in the back room. The pup was gorging herself in fish shaped goodness. I moved the bag to its rightful storage location. That evening the pup had the worst flatulence one has ever witnessed. She could not stop passing gas. To the point the sound and length of the farts worried everyone, including the pup. The humans were forced to retreat to higher ground, abandoning the toxic puppy. The cat food clearly was not sitting well.

Then came the shit. Liquid feces lined 80 percent of the first floor. The home should have been condemned. Luckily I couldn't help clear I had to go to work. Finally karma strikes my wife. She is forced to clean her mistakes. It was foul. I grew up on a pig farm, and this made me nauseous.

Theb Icome home and the house still stunk, the wife woke and began recleaning. I went to bed laughing. When I woke I went downstairs to a clean home. While in transit I stopped and looked in the back room, to find the fucking cat food bag on the floor.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2017 10:41 am 
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My wife is an absolute slob. That is all.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2017 10:50 am 
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My wife used to be but I've become more of a zero tolerance dude as I've gotten older... she's gotten the hint :lol:

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2017 11:00 am 
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I'm just tired all the time, so I don't have the energy to fight it. Plus we have a lady that comes every couple weeks and cleans. Then she's all like "the kids should do more chores" and I'm all like "fire the cleaning lady then".

The next empty wine glass my wife picks up will be the first.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2017 11:02 am 
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My wife will do laundry all day, everyday. She will do the dishes every night as well. She will dust and vacuum some, but by god she is a fuckin mess at the supper table. You can tell where she sat, salt, sugar, syrup, juice, if she spills she rarely cleans the shit up. If there is a leaf on the floor, I will purposely not pick it up to see how long it lays there. After days I go fucking nuts and tell her she flunked the test. It is very strange the shit she will do as opposed to won't do. :frustrated:


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